Friday, July 15, 2016

A Pokémon grew on his WHAT NOW?!

I have been contemplating whether or not to share this, and I'll probably have to post something decent and culturally sensitive to cover up this post, but it has been stuck in my ears since Pokémon Go came out, and I can't resist the temptation anymore.

It is just too relevant.

Here is a classic Hungarian song titled "Birthday Party" - most commonly known by the chorus line: "A Pokémon grew on my weewee at my birthday party."


(Warning: Anatomical drawings of male genitalia in the video)

Created and performed by the brilliantly insane satire band Malacka és a Tahó (Piglet and the Asshole). Rough translation of lyrics:

When I turned thirteen
I wanted a great big party
So that all my classmates could be there;

All my little friends attended
They came by bus, and they
Played on the Commodore 64
With great enthusiasm

I thought this was gonna be
The greatest party of my life,
But a few minutes before 9
Tragedy struck:

A Pokémon grew on my weewee
At my birthday party!
A Pokémon grew on my weewee 
At my birthday party!!!

A Pokémon grew on on his weewee
At his birthday party!
A Pokémon grew on his weewee
At his birthday party!

(Repeat until dead)

Monday, May 30, 2016

All the Game of Thrones puns that only work in Hungarian


Most puns can't be translated. Which is really sad, when you think about it, since they seem to be humanity's shared, universal language. Everybody puns, one way or another.
And since Game of Thrones is also becoming a shared, universal language (at least for geeks), I decided to impart some punworthy Hungarian slang that works great in pirate subtitles, but is lost on English-speaking audiences.

Ever since Season 1, Hungarians have been describing Danaerys as "tűzrőlpattant," which literally translates into "jumped out of a fire." It is an archaic term mostly applied to fierce maidens. It is also probably what GRRM was copying when he invented "kissed by fire." An alternate version is "tüzes menyecske," which translates into "fiery maiden."

And while on the topic of fire: Another archaic term, "háztűznéző," refers to visiting a house with the intent of looking for a girl to marry. It literally translates into "watching the house fire," and while originally probably referred to the hearth, it fits Danaerys' latest antics quite perfectly and hilariously.

Still on the same side of the Narrow Sea, "pofám leszakad" is Hungarian slang for "I can't believe this bullshit." Incidentally, it literally translates into "my face rips off." You may apply that as you will. Taking it one step further, "pofátlan" ("faceless" or "mugless") is the adjective we use for shameless, nosy people.

Following the theme of missing body parts: "Szemtelen" also means shameless or nosy, and also translates into "eyeless," while the verb "lábatlankodik" ("goes around legless") is how we describe someone being in the way, annoying, or... under foot.

This should hold you over till Season 7.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Z is for Zéró

Last day of the 2016 A to Z Challenge! Thank you all for visiting and leaving comments! Come back on May 9th for the Reflections!

When legendary criminal cat Zéró decides to sell a national park forest (and gated community) for profit, he can only be stopped by a Captain on the verge of retirement, the forest president's little granddaughter, and a handful of enthusiastic friends.
Az Erdő Kapitánya (Captain of the Forest, 1988) is a feature length animated movie that promotes the importance of the environment (among other things). It plays a lot on police movie tropes, such as "two weeks from retirement."

Once again, the cats are the bad guys: Zéró is the head of a crime network, and keeps evading capture by the upstanding members of the Police: The Captain (a dog), Ede the Corporal (a mouse), and the Emergency Signal (an owl). This formidable team is aided by Goliath, a flea, who is supposed to spy on the cats, but gets himself captured and sent back to the police under a stamp on an envelope. He finds out enough, however, to know that Zéró's aim is the Forest, so the Captain fakes retirement to get temporary housing in the gated community (since they are outside the city's jurisdiction).

At the forest, Captain makes friends with the granddaughter of the Forest President (an old and strong bear lady). Dorka is super excited about being friends with a real life cop. He also befriends Dini, the Bat, who helps him build a house on the island assigned to him - and obviously he builds it upside-down, but the good-natured Captain doesn't complain. We also get to encounter Pimpike, the Blue Bird of Happiness (a former wolf who ate a whole lot of poisonous shrooms and got an identity crisis).

All kinds of excitement ensue - chases on land and water, kidnappings, mayhem. Zéró almost succeeds at selling the entire forest to a landscaping company for immediate demolition... but in the end, the Captain stops him. After the excitement is over, the Captain decides to actually retire, and move into the Forest permanently.

This is a very adorable movie, and one of my favorites. I wish there was an English dubbed version...

Friday, April 29, 2016

Y is for a Young Sparrow

I know I say this a lot, but this one is actually one of my top favorite Hungarian cartoons.

When a boy pisses off the Sparrow Fairy by shooting at birds, he gets turned into a sparrow himself, and has to learn what life is like for tiny birds in a bid city.
Vili, a veréb (Willy the Sparrow) is a 1989 feature length animated movie. It is not only gorgeously drawn (featuring recognizable Budapest scenes and buildings as the backdrop), but also geniously animated - you can tell that the creators spend serious hours watching sparrows... do sparrow things.

The Sparrow Fairy only turns Vili into a sparrow to teach him a lesson (and prove that she is actually a fairy, and not just a silly old woman). But her magical spray can malfunctions, and she has to go back to the Headquarters to get it fixed, so she leaves Sparrow-Vili alone in his room. Unfortunately, the family's much-tortured cat takes this opportunity to avenge herself on the kid, and Vili has to flee out of the apartment and into the park. And so the adventures begin.

In the park, Vili makes friends with a flock of actual sparrows, who are at first very surprised why he can't fly - and then save him from the cat and take him to a wise old sparrow, Cipur, for flight training. Vili confesses to Cipur that he is actually human, and they make a deal: Cipur teach Vili to fly, and Vili teaches Cipur to read and write (because the old bird has a crush on the Sparrow Fairy). In the process, Vili learns a lot about sparrows, and also a lot about friendship and bravery.

One of the things that the birds often do is rivalry for leadership. Their loud and aggressive leader, Spagyi, keeps yelling "WHO'S STRONGER?!" at every newcomer, and they all put their heads down and say "YOU!" Whoever is the strongest gives the orders. One of the most quotable lines of the movie comes from these situations:

"Any questions? No questions? Let's go!" - he always says it fast enough that no one can get a word (or question) in.

Whenever one of them says or does something dumb, they get called a "dongó," which means bumblebee. "Csures, you are bublebee" is a great way of dissing someone.

My favorite piece of wisdom, however, comes from Cipur: Every time he leaves Vili alone, he says "One eye, one ear, is always alert." While this is supposed to reflect the way tiny birds live, it is also a very handy quote for parenting in general. My mother says it a lot to me when I set off on a trip.

In addition, there is also a scene where Vili touches on the basic problems of academic writing. I blogged about it in detail here.

SOOO... this movie exists on YouTube with English subtitles... but also Russian dubs, for some godforsaken reason...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

X is for the Checkered-Eared Rabbit

Plush Rabbit Square-Ears?...
This is as close as I'm going to get to X, so bear with me.

A plush rabbit lives in an attic and spies on people until his services are needed, at which point he uses his large ears to helicopter down and save the day.
A kockásfülű nyúl (The checkered-eared rabbit) is an animated TV show that aired 26 episodes between 1974 and 1976. I actually am not sure if the rabbit is a he or a she, or something else, because Hungarian language is gender-neutral, and also no one speaks in the entire show. Therefore, it is easily watchable for children of any language.

Once again this is a show that is mostly known for the ridiculous adorableness of its main character. You can buy Checkered-Eared Rabbit plushies in several stores in Hungary, and people recognize them as part of their childhood. Rabbit always carries a large spyglass, and looking through it sees children getting into trouble - ruining a birthday cake, losing a drawing, being bullied, etc. Rabbit then helicopters down with his large checkered ears to help them solve the situation. The episodes are short, and come with cheerful music (that can get a bit repetitive). It is great fun for smaller children.

Watch episodes of the show here.